Wednesday, January 17, 2018


funny business


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Christmas 2010 has gone and with it the music, especially the now perennial and extremely popular parang-soca dietary and musical staple by Scrunter, "I Want A Piece Of Pork".

Now, it seems, the penny has dropped, the shoe is on the other foot, the biter is bitten and the engineer has been hoisted by his own petard.

Gone are days when former Gayelle talk-show host Anil Roberts (Spalk), "scourge of mediocrity and the dotish" wanted a piece of everybody.

Now, it seems, things are not going swimmingly for the ex-Olympic coach and everybody wants a piece of Spalk for their dining pleasure regardless of season.

In fact, it is now open season on Spalk.

The new Minister of Sport, who in his media heyday didn't eat nice, had to eat "humble pie" early in his tenure. He also had to apologise to the Parliament and subsequently became the first MP in this session to end up before the Privileges Committee for a possible contempt of Parliament.

Whether it was as welcome in Guyana as it was in Trinidad that Spalk had finally got his comeuppance, the Stabroek News stated, "Speaker Wade Mark ruled that a prima facie case had been made out by People's National Movement MP, Amery Browne, who alleged that Roberts deliberately misled the House when he categorically stated on more than one occasion that there were no expletives used during the recent Nicki Minaj concert."

Adding to the belief that Spalk is out of his depth was the recent "Good COP" versus "Bad COP" routine that Anil initiated.

First came the headline, "Revolt in COP" in the Express on January 9, with the story claiming, "Moves are afoot to remove Finance Minister Winston Dookeran as political leader of the Congress of the People. And sources say the man in the challenger's corner is Sport Minister Anil Roberts. Sources said that there was strong COP support for Roberts to put himself up for the leadership position come March."

Spalk responded modestly by indicating his willingness to serve if given the leadership by the COP members; there were divisions within the COP and he was certain of a shake-up in the leadership; some members have lost faith in Dookeran's leadership; and that leadership was not a cow that somebody can hand it to him.

Then on the next day, January 10, it seemed that Roberts had dived into an empty pool and bounced his head. The Express stated, "Sport and Youth Affairs Minister Anil Roberts's concerns about the leadership and discipline of the Congress of the People (COP) were taken for joke yesterday at the party's national council meeting in Chaguanas."

COP chairman, Joseph Toney, commenting on the reaction to Spalk's riding to the rescue of his party, said, "This was treated as a huge joke because I don't think anybody at the COP national council today took that headline seriously at all."

Unfortunately, while Spalk's ego might have been dented a bit, and his political ambitions dampened, his head will continue to prove indestructible.

The moral of this tale is that as a former swimmer Spalk should know the difference between a "medley" and "meddling" and that if he continues to freestyle he might end up with the political life span of a butterfly.

Worse, leadership might not be a cow, but it is also not about talking bull.