Now that the Ramai Trace Hindu Primary School in Debe has been re-named the Doctor Roodal Moonilal Ramai Trace Sanatan Dharma Maha Sabha (SDMS) Primary School, the students who attend...wait, let me try that again.
Actually, I can’t try it again. Even for a skilled writer like myself, there’s no way to include that school’s name in a clear, well-structured sentence. I was going to say that, with the re-naming of the school, students would be expected to write English Language compositions about the person their school is named after. But can any child write such an essay without getting hand cramps? I myself am already feeling a twinge of carpal tunnel syndrome just from the title. But I suppose that makes today’s exercise even more necessary.
So, students of the DRMRTSDMSPS: here is a sample essay about your school’s founder, which you can use when your teacher is busy smoothing out her panty-lines.
My school is named after Doctor Roodal Moonilal. Dr Moonilal is not the kind of doctor Mummy carries you to when you get sick and you have to wait the whole morning in the Penal Health Centre to see them. Sick people do not go to doctors like Dr Moonilal. They would not get better because he doesn’t have medicine. They would die.
Dr Moonilal has a doctorate. That is why he is called “doctor” and ate so much dhalpuri when he came to our school. He got his doctorate from the “Netherlands Institute of Social Studies”. Dr Moonilal studied hard to get this certificate. He did not have to. His colleagues and friends bought or printed theirs. That is why our school was named after him.
His Doctorate is in Labour. According to the Concise Oxford English Dictionary, that means that he knows how to (1) work, especially hard physical labour; (2) the process of childbirth. This does not mean that Dr Moonilal studied how to get pregnant. Then he would not be a doctor. He would be a skettel. When he came to my school, I thought he had a baby in his tummy, but Mommy told me that men cannot make babies. As a Doctor of Labour, Dr Moonilal helps many women. Last year, he helped lift some women who were as heavy as bags of aloo. Dr Moonilal is an expert in aloo and how much it weighs. This is because, as a Doctor of Labour, he has studied how to “have difficulty, despite working hard” (OED).
Our school would not have been built without Dr Moonilal. He got $350,000 for the Sanatan Dharma Maha Sabha to buy land. He got this money from businessmen. The businessmen gave the money so the children from Ramai Trace could get a good Hindu education. They were very generous and very anonymous.
Maha Sabha leader Sri Satnarayan Maharaj could not even call out their names when Dr Moonilal came to have our school named after him. The businessmen gave this money to Housing Minister Dr Moonilal without wanting their generosity to be recognised by the students, teachers, or Dr Moonilal. Their dânam (charity) will be rewarded when they are reincarnated as Brahmins like Sri Satnarayan Maharaj.
Persons who are not Hindus did not understand why Dr Moonilal was chosen to be the school’s name. Sri Maharaj explained that many Maha Sabha schools are named after politicians. This is because politicians are exemplars for students. That is why they are called “Honourable”. Children in these schools will learn to be as honourable as politicians.
Dr Moonilal is so honourable that he did not know Jack Warner gave contracts to his (Warner’s) sisters until he (Jack Warner) left the honourable UNC. He also did not know that his Ministry is giving building contracts to gang members. This shows how Dr Moonilal follows the Hindu law to Hear No Evil, See No Evil, and Speak No Evil Except To Reveal Other People’s Evil. This principle is represented by the three monkeys. When he came to the school, Dr Moonilal told us to “adopt positive role models” like him. Dr Moonilal could be a model for Hanuman, who is the god of monkeys.
Dr Moonilal has also been a model for the Michelin Tyre Company. The “Michelin Man” has prevented many road accidents. Dr Moonilal has also done this by riding in a Range Rover.
People who are not Hindus do not like Hindus riding in expensive vehicles. When these non-Hindus complained, Dr Moonilal stopped using it because he is so humble. When he came to our school, he said he was humbled to be “invited to lend my name to the school”. We students are lucky he was not humbled before he was invited to lend his name for $350,000. Humble people are too humble to let buildings get named after them.
This is why my school is named after Dr Roodal Moonilal.