Much concern has been expressed about the plight of CLICO investors, especially by themselves. I'm not talking about the ordinary policyholders, who didn't know the Central Bank didn't have the power to protect their little savings, and who unlike one Bank official didn't have the luck to pull out their money just before the collapse.

But what about those investors who put several hundred thousands of dollars into CLICO's Executive Flexible Premium Annuity? It may be argued that, if they weren't executives or flexible, they should have known better, but for many of them these sums constituted a whopping one per cent of their total assets. As a journalist, I felt I should write some of their stories, but then I decided that my novelist's hat would provide a more accurate picture.

Gaston Brane, 38—I have been driving the same Audi for four years now. Not only is my gas mileage increasing, but people are starting to talk. I usually change cars every three years but, without the 15 per cent interest from my CLICO investment, I've had to change my lifestyle instead. It's even begun to affect me psychologically, and on many nights I wake up drenched in sweat, dreaming that I bought a Cube.

C French, 50—What am I supposed to do with $75,000? That would barely cover a weekend in Paris at the Hotel Le Bristol, not including the pâté de foie gras. Clearly, this Government has no concern for people's basic needs.

Karen T, 54—I wanted to buy a nice apartment for my daughter who's studying overseas, and I was planning to use the money I would get when I broke my deposit, which I thought was a rollover, but I was able to get some out in time, not because I had heard anything more than what my sister had heard.

Unfortunately, because I had to rush to break the rollover, not knowing anything at all at all at all about CLICO's problems, I was not able to buy the apartment my daughter wanted, and now she's distraught because she has to live in a one-bedroom flat while the Pandays' daughters have a three-bedroom. These figures prove that this Government is contributing to the breakdown of the family.

P Duck, 70—I had invested my money years ago in CLICO, depending on the 20 per cent interest to come due when I started to sag. Breasts are very expensive. What am I supposed to do with just $75,000? That won't even cover my bras, and I had dreamed of the day when my bras wouldn't cover me. I really wanted to cat-proof my apartment, too.

Julia P, 58—I had prayed to God for prosperity, and He told me to buy a high-yield CLICO policy. Now my $30 million is gone, and the new Government is refusing to give it back to me at the prophesied 25 per cent interest. This defiance of God's will will surely bring death and destruction upon the land.

D Serve, 42—This absurd bailout plan can undermine the country's entire financial system, especially since I can't afford the new Sony 50-inch plasma flatscreen TV with surround sound. It is absurd for the Government to argue that it can't pay the 30 per cent return on the investment I made in CLICO. I've always made 30 per cent or more on my investments, and it didn't take more than a few hundred thousand dollars in politicians' pockets. The taxpayers of this country should realise that a healthy economy rests on people like me, which is why their dollars should be used to give me back my money.

Don Partee, 23—My parents bought interest-paying CLICO shares for me ten years ago, and I've used the dividends for the past five years to play in Tribe. With the Government refusing to pay me my rightful due, I can only go Zen five times a month now. And even when I go, it's a financial strain to get hot girls to like me by buying them lots of alcohol. This Government clearly doesn't care about young people.

A Masters, 60—I am not so concerned with myself as I am with the ordinary workers of the country. I have had to reduce my maid's pay, and I'm sure it's affected her since my foot rubs have not been as thorough. She's also eating less well, because there are fewer leftovers left for her to take home.

Peter Permhead, 47—I started to go bald when I turned 40, so I immediately invested in CLICO in order to get money to join the Hair Club for Men. Now I have hair, but I was depending on the 50 per cent annual interest to pay for the daily perms so I could keep my hair curly. Not everyone is as lucky as Kevin Baldeosingh.

—kbaldeosingh@hotmail.com