In a TV interview a few weeks ago, acting Inspector Anand Ramesar, who heads the Police Welfare Association, said police officers want a “bottoms up” approach to crime-fighting.
This may have been a Freudian slip. Or not. If it wasn’t, though, I’m not clear on what acting Inspector Ramesar meant. Was he calling for acting Police Commissioner Stephen Williams and his deputies to consult police constables about crime strategies and, if so, who were the bottoms? Or was he talking about enforcing the law against sodomy as a crime-fighting measure? After all, many police officers are born-again Christians who view homosexuality as more sinful than killing. (We know homosexuality is worse than murder because almost all religious leaders support the death penalty but oppose equal rights for gays.)
There are several possible interpretations of acting Inspector Ramesar’s figure of speech. By a “bottoms up” approach, he could simply have been saying that police officers should have a few drinks before going out and arresting criminals, people who look like criminals, and people who look like they might know criminals. Or he may have been backing up acting CoP Williams, who has been claiming the crime rate is bottoming out. For all I know, Ramesar could even have meant that police officers should fight crime by taking off their pants and doing a hand-stand. After all, with the murder rate holding steady at 30 per 100,000 people for the past ten years, that would be as effective as any crime plan that’s been tried so far.
The recent spate of murders in south-east Port of Spain shows what happens when a whole community is left behind. And that happens because, in this place, bottoms almost always rise to the top. We see this during Carnival and during elections. In Carnival, men focus on watching bumsees and women focus on wining their bumsees to be watched. It is therefore not surprising that, in a society which worships the bottom, we should elect the kind of leaders we elect. Contrary to David Rudder, how we party is how we vote. Which is how so many bottom feeders come to feed at the trough of the Treasury. Under the last People’s National Movement regime and now under the People’s Partnership, citizens have learned that kissing this part of politicians’ anatomy is the most effective way to get a good job that you’re not good at.
This, in turn, is why so many politicians need Porsche SUVs and Range Rovers to ride in, because the shocks of ordinary Prados were not built to support eat-so-much-food bottoms. And that is also why so little is being done by State enterprise boards, since the main qualifications for those posts are long tongues and lead bottoms. Hence the reason we can never get to the bottom of scandals like the $30 million Guanapo church, CL Financial and Section 34.
And this kind of thing will only accelerate now that Jack Warner and his Independent Liberal Party is posing a threat to the ruling United National Congress plus Prakash Ramadar. The UNC leaders (and Prakash) had bet their bottom dollar that Warner would not win the Chaguanas West by-election, which is why Housing Minister Dr Roodal Moonilal, Works Minister Mr Suruj Rambachan, PhD, and Attorney General Anand Ramlogan, SC (Self-Conferred), were out in front of the UNC election campaign and came in behind. What the UNC failed to realise was that, after so many years as vice-president of the world’s most corrupt sporting organisation, Warner’s dollars had no bottom.
Even so, Warner will have to scrape the bottom of the barrel to get party members but, given his own history, these are exactly the kind of people who will fit right in with him. So Lyndira Oudit on Wednesday morning did not know if she was joining the ILP, but by Wednesday evening she was that party’s vice-chairman. That means she was either lying at 9 a.m., or her decision was not based on principle, conviction or Kamla’s tears. But this has to be true for anyone who is comfortable working for Jack.
So some commentators have been supporting Jack and bewailing crime without seeing any contradiction, with one of them even going so far as to blame talk radio for the rising crime rate over the past decade, even though this would logically mean most murders are being committed by retirees and housewives. Not relevant is the fact that many children score at the bottom of the SEA but the media only highlight the successful one per cent of pupils.
This shows that nearly everything in this place is decided by the bottom line. And I don’t mean that in the healthy capitalist sense, but in the sense that the lines are drawn at the bottom. Because this is a place where the people on top are always aiming for the bottom of the bottom.