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Servants of Satan

By Kevin Baldeosingh

 According to Government Minister and pastor Rodger Samuel, murders in Trinidad and Tobago are caused by spiritual problems: and he has the solution. “It is time we abide by God’s laws,” he said. Presumably, therefore, MP Prophet Samuel does not wear clothes made of different threads (Leviticus 19:19); trim the hair on his temples (Lev. 19:27); or treat his slaves unkindly (Colossians 4:1).  Given his strong convictions on this matter, Minister Pastor Samuel must also be using his position as a member of Cabinet to lobby for laws against pepper shrimp and roast pork, since these are banned by God (Lev.11:7,11) which means that all Chinese restaurants are temples of Satan. 

What I don’t understand, though, is why Minister Minister Samuel has remained in an administration in which the Ministry of Agriculture, contrary to God’s law in Leviticus 19:19, allows farmers to sow their fields with two different kinds of seed. Maybe he thinks the Cabinet needs at least one person who knows what God thinks, and he knows that God thinks that all sinners must be executed.

“God instituted creation laws that if a man murdered a person and is found guilty he should not live,” Pastor MP Samuel told the Express last Monday. “If a man shed a man’s blood then by man shall his blood be shed.”  Of course, murder isn’t the only sin for which God has prescribed the death penalty. People also have to be executed for working on the Sabbath (Exodus 35:2), horning (Deuteronomy 22:22), and cursing their parents (Leviticus 20:9). God considers all these acts equally evil, as does crime expert Pastor Clive Dottin PhD (whose doctorate was awarded by the Seventh-Day Adventist University of the Southern Caribbean, not one of those secular universities which values facts more than the Word of God). 

What this means, of course, is that judges and magistrates are in the service of Satan. You see, most of these “officers of the court”, as they are called, adhere to a demonic concept called “proportionate punishment” which holds that littering, say, should be punished less severely than rape. This, however, is against the will of God, who says that a woman who is not a virgin on her wedding night is just as evil as a murderer, since they both must be stoned to death (Deuteronomy 22:21). 

Judges also sometimes order a psychiatric evaluation of persons who have committed particularly horrific crimes. “What kind of human kills a child and stuffs her in a barrel inside the same room?” Minister Minister Samuel asked. 

In this regard, the Devil’s most pernicious pawns are undoubtedly neurologists, especially those who have written textbooks about how damage to specific parts of the brain can change a person’s behaviour and even personality. But their texts are not holy texts. Neuro-psychiatrists might argue that raping a dead child is the act of a deranged mind, and their claim that psychotic behaviour can be explained by neurological defects has even been accepted by the once-powerful Catholic Church, which is why it’s so hard now to find a priest who can cast out demons, even using Google.

“What kind of human walks into someone’s home and chops a family to death?” Pastor Prophet Samuel asked. Psychiatrists and others of that ilk have been spreading Satan’s message by claiming that human beings do evil things because material factors like poverty, lack of education and childhood abuse make some people predisposed to violence. So it’s usually not well-off humans who chop people: but this is only because such persons are good and so have been blessed by God with plenty money. 

Thus, even when a financially secure and educated human wants to commit murder, they can either resist the temptation or hire a poor black man to do it for them. Moreover, the countries with the lowest crime rates are those in which most people do not pray or go to church, which proves that Satan keeps his demons out of such societies in order to make people turn away from God. That in turn proves that criminologists, who say that violent crime is correlated with high socioeconomic inequity, are imps of Satan. 

So, according to God’s law, anyone who utters the name of the Lord must be killed (Leviticus 24:15), which means that atheists must be put to death for saying “God does not exist”, since this statement is not only blasphemous but rude. Evolutionary biologists are also disciples of the Devil, since they use Satanic devices like DNA to argue that human beings are the products of evolution, rather than descendants of Adam and Eve and their children (who presumably had sex with one another before God made incest a sin). So not only must atheists and biologists be executed for blasphemy but also, obviously, women who scream “Oh God” while having orgasms.

Only then, according to Minister Pastor MP Prophet Samuel, will T&T be crime-free.

• kevin.baldeosingh@zoho.com

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