Tools

Men of substance

By A.P.Toussaint

Yesterday, I shared on 'Women of faith', and because I cannot leave out men, today I share on men of substance.

All that I have learned from personal lessons, from the experiences of family, friends and acquaintances— clearly indicates that sometimes, for that matter many times, we (women) make wrong choices because we really do not know what to look for. And then, there are men who are clueless about just what a man of substance is. I dare say that the world is full of relationship drama primarily because many relationships have no substance because there is lack of substance in those we may find ourselves in relationships with. Men, here's the thing I am trying to help all of us but especially you guys, to know what valuable substance — the essence of a man worthy to woo a good woman — is, so we can avoid some of the emotional trauma we end up getting.

One of the serious problems that many good women have to deal with is the fact that we make bad choices when it comes to men. It continues to baffle all and sundry how it is that so many of us can be brilliant in business and the boardroom, but not so bright when it comes to the brothers. So many times we come up feeling emotionally empty-handed and left feeling like all the air is gone in our emotional world. But we cannot blame the men when the most important thing is left out in the choosing process, and that is to first know what we want. If we do not know what we want, we will accept anything that comes along.

So many times after the choice we made turned out to be the wrong choice, we beat on ourselves. What we should be doing is taking the lesson, heal, and accepting that it really isn't about them but it is about our understanding and growth. Blaming does not help after a relationship is ruined. Making a graceful exit is what we really want to do, pray and read the guide that is shared here today.

Perhaps this guide will assist all of us to improve our relationships with this very crucial relationship tool — defining a man of substance.

According to Relationship Expert Paula Snyder, these are some of the qualities of a man of substance:

"When you meet someone you really like, it is important to know the characteristics of a good man, so that you can quickly identify them, and not waste time on the wrong person. Characteristics of a good man will tell you what he stands for, the values he lives by, and the morals that shape his behaviour. His personality is important, however, do not mistake his personality with his character. His personality is the way he presents himself to the world, the way he expresses himself on the outside. His character is what he is on the inside, his substance."

1. He has integrity and character.

2. He is committed to growing and improving himself as a person — he wants to learn everything he can about being a better person.

3. He is open emotionally, open with his feelings and he expresses those feelings to you.

4. He is mature and responsible.

5. He has a positive attitude toward life.

6. He should make you feel good when you are with him. Steer clear of the man who is a negative person who is always complaining. This type of person will drain all your energy and bring you down.

7. He does what he says he is going to do. He keeps his promises and shows up on time.

8. He has a high self-esteem. Does he feel good about who he is and how he lives his life, and takes care of himself? A man can only love you if he loves himself. He does not allow other people to mistreat him or you.

These are traits that are essential in a lifelong partner. In order to know how to recognise characteristics of a good man, you have to get to know him and have serious conversations with him, and this comes with time. In order for you to know the characteristics of a good man, you need to possess these same qualities. It is important to love a man not only for exterior appearance but for who he is on the inside as well.

Paula Snyder is a relationship expert, author and business owner. All text in italics are quoted from her work.

So let us walk on water because weak faith panics, growing faith prays and seasoned faith walks on water in the midst of the storms.

Much love

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