I don't pretend to understand how religious believers think, but I do consider myself an expert on how they don't. So I'm not surprised that most religious leaders favour capital punishment: but I was mystified that several of them interviewed last week by the Express claimed to support hanging because it was the law of the land.

Maha Sabha leader Sat Maharaj, for example, said, "As long as the law says it is the punishment for a crime, then so be it." If Sat thinks the law is so sacrosanct, however, why did he go all the way to the Privy Council to get the Trinity Cross abolished?

After all, that award was a law inherited from the British, just like the law that says to hang convicted murderers, which the British abolished in their own country. So if Sat so believes in karma, isn't he worried that this transgression may lead to him being reincarnated as a beetle or, worse, a black-beetle?

ASJA spokesman Imam Hajji Abzal-Mohammed and a few other syllables said, "We believe that if the Constitution allows for the death penalty to be passed, then it should be carried out." He then said that only God who gives life should be able to take it away, proving you don't need logic when you have a large beard.

However, if Muslims so respect the law of the land, why did they insist on changing the law of Trinidad and Tobago so they could have their own Marriage Act which states that "the age at which a person, being a member of the Muslim community, is capable of contracting marriage shall be 16 in the case of males and 12 in the case of females"?

And what does Imam Hajji Abzal-Mohammed (take a breath before repeating) say about those wealthy Muslims who, in defiance of the law against bigamy, have two or three or four wives? Shouldn't they stone themselves to death for adultery?

In fact, you might be surprised to know that the Qu'ran says nothing about stoning human beings, or even Muslim women, for that particular transgression. This only happens in Arabic countries because there's nothing good on TV. Yet no local Muslim leader has ever objected to this un-Islamic practice, though they sure find time to write on blogs about attempts to ban a mosque being built in New York near the 9/11 site.

What the Qur'an does prescribe is 100 strokes for the adulterous man and woman (Surah 24, verse 2), which I consider a weird punishment since it's stroking that got them into trouble in the first place.

My point is, if the government abolished capital punishment, these religious leaders wouldn't say that murderers should not be hanged because it's against the law. Instead, they'd say that T&T was defying God's laws and this would lead to floods, earthquakes, and female orgasms. However, if religious leaders believe this –and of course they do, for how else would they be able to afford their gowns? – then they should cite God's laws properly, before He smites them for editing.

Rev Mark David of the Open Bible Church was thus being theologically unsound when he told Express reporter Sue-Ann Wayow that "If someone does the ultimate crime, they should pay the ultimate price", since Jehovah in fact requires the ultimate price for acts which even televangelists seem to commit pretty often. So Christians who support the death penalty by quoting Genesis chapter 9, verse 6 ("Whose sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed") must also insist that people be executed for adultery (Leviticus 20:10) homosexuality (Lev. 20:14), and pre-marital sex (Deuteronomy 22:21).

And if any Christian says these laws no longer apply because they are from the Old Testament, he should be executed for blasphemy (Lev. 24:15) since Jesus himself in Matthew 5:17 says, "Do not think I have come to abolish the law of the prophets", to which the prophets presumably responded, "Word."

Devout Hindus, likewise, should lobby for the death penalty in T&T to be extended to the capital crimes listed in the Vedas: poisoning, arson, armed assault, stealing wives, and squatting. Before that can happen, of course, the pundits will have to clarify some philosophical points.

Would caterers be executed if the guests at a wedding got diarrhoea? Does arson include burning love? If a Muslim thief who has had his hands cut off attacks another person, is he still guilty of armed assault? What if the wife actually wants to be stolen? Does the death penalty apply only to squatting or would persons who are just crouching also face the hangman?

I have no answers to these question for, like I said, I don't understand how religious believers think. That's why, when people tell me God is good, I say so is chocolate pudding.

kbaldeosingh@hotmail.com