Tools

Outercourse

By By Dennis Webster

According to leading psychosexual therapists, we need the body, the brain and our emotions to be working properly if we are to achieve optimal effectiveness and enjoyment of sex. If there is any disruption in the system (break in the circuit), problems are sure to arise. Reports state, the best erectile dysfunction treatment combines sex therapy with another type of treatment and relationship experts say you must be willing to look at what is going on between the two of you. Are you both connecting during the experience?
A doctor or therapist will ask questions about your relationship with your partner. Some men have expressed concerns regarding infidelity in their relationship. Experts say, it is hard to focus on where you both are presently if you are still thinking about where each other has been. This kind of concern can impact negatively on your performance.
Many men are also concerned about the size of their penis and are shocked to find out that according to the most recent research data, the average size of a man’s erect penis is 5.8 inches (less than previously reported) and a non-erect penis is about 4 inches in length from tip to base (if measured properly). Also when surveyed, many women stressed more importance on girth as opposed to length. The length of the vagina (although it can expand) is only about 4 inches.
One report states if you are having sex less than twice a month, you can lose that touchy feely intimacy and this could create some anxiety in your relationship leading to performance issues.
Concerns regarding your performance or lack thereof only make things worse. If you are in a relationship, the experts say erection problems affect both of you individually and as a couple and when seeking help, both partners should feel equally supported in resolving the issues.
If the cause of your problem is unknown (psychological, emotional or medical), doctors will usually try to rule out a medical problem first by doing among other things:
• A physical assessment
• Blood work
• A review of your medications if you are taking any
• You international index of erectile function (IIEF) score
If the problem is found to be medical, like low testosterone, suggested replacement methods will be offered by your doctor. If the medical problem cannot be fixed, new or different ways of being intimate when penetrative sexual intercourse is more difficult or not possible can be suggested. There are many sexual options that do not include penetration and experts say “Penetration is not essential to having a satisfying sexual experience. Having fun, trying different sexual aides and enjoying each other’s bodies can be extremely fulfilling”. You may want to consider outercourse. For more information on outercourse, send a blank e-mail to outer@brachy4u.ca
If you think you have a problem with erectile dysfunction (ED) you should consider counselling as an important part of your treatment management program. Counselling sessions are usually weekly or bi-weekly and many are covered by health insurance plans. For maximum effectiveness, several sessions are required.
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