This is especially true for new couples, since you may not have aired all your financial misgivings. If old student loans remain unpaid or your credit card debt seems to be getting higher, not lower, it’s time for a change. Both of you have to swallow hard, admit the state of your finances (no matter how grisly) and move forward. By being up-front about past money matters, you and your man can tackle pressing problems, like how to handle the mortgage, cover out-of-pocket medical costs and save for emergencies. Discuss one item at a time, then plot out your plan to deal with it. ’Put the brakes on and be willing to make changes if the money isn’t there’ says Marilyn Logan, author of I Can’t Afford to Marry You: A Guide to Understanding the True Cost of Love (Salo Publishing). ’Financial disease can be remedied with the right medication’

If You Do Only One Thing: Give each other permission to bring up any financial embarrassments, without the fear of being berated. Read Talking Money by Jean Chatzky (Business Plus) to find the right words to use.

GET THE KIDS

ON BOARD

If there’s tension in the house, kids feel it ’Let them know you’ll always take care of their needs, but there might not be funds for another pair of sneakers of MP3 player,’ advises Harrine Freeman, author of How To Get Out of Debt: Get an A Credit Rating for Free Using the System I’ve Used successfully with thousands of clients (Adept Publishers).

IF YOU DO

ONLY ONE THING:

Be honest with your children. Let them help by turning off the TV or unplugging phone chargers.