There is a plethora of wonderful adjectives which can be used to describe a woman of any ethnic background, any income bracket and any size. Guys, too, but ehhhhhhhh, this ain’t about them.
Recently, I was watching an episode of the talk show Tyra and there were women being interviewed who had gone to dangerously extreme lengths to physically alter their bodies when, quite objectively I thought, it wasn’t necessary at all. One girl almost lost her eyesight because of some ’psycho’ in Panama who ended up practically digging a hole in one of her eyes and now she risks being completely blind before the age of 40! The hapless young woman had taken her life’s savings and paid for this radical surgery whereby the colour of her eyes would be changed. My real shock was that her natural eyes were absolutely gorgeous! Why did she want to change them in the first place?
That got me pondering about how, as women, we sometimes get a little too obsessive about our bodies. I’m not even going to get into the whole psychological aspect of things or talk about a woman being pro-choice. Let me see if I can talk to you in a language I’m sure you’ll understand; relish your bodies like you’d relish your man! What do I mean? Well, your man isn’t working anywhere and watches cartoons all day but you still love him. After all, who bought him the new DVD player and original DVDs? Huh? Your man bought you a $2.50 greeting card and a $3.00 chocolate for Valentine’s Day even though he still lives with his mama and has no bills to pay but, whew lawdie, he rocks your world and you lurrrrrv him! Why else would you be shopping at Wonderful World for lingerie to excite him? Eh? Your man looks more pregnant than Big Bird having sextuplets and thinks that showering once every two days is sufficient but oh, how you just want to be cuddled. He is your nasty man... Get my point?
Man, can’t we just celebrate our womanhood? Sometimes we’re so hard on ourselves but we really should ’raise a toast’ to us. We have inner and outer beauty and are strong, loving, independent, instinctive, wise creatures. We are fierce! It’s not that we don’t have flaws or ’issues’ and it’s not that we should be in denial about them. Let’s just still see ourselves in a positive light - regardless. One song that’s always on my mental iPod is Mary J. Blige’s ’Just Fine’. The song doesn’t only refer to one’s physical self but if you take the following excerpt literally
’So I like what I see when I’m looking at me when I’m walking past the mirror.’
I, like many other women, struggle with some area of my body continually but I love me! Hey, any woman who says they wouldn’t change any part of their body is lying! Yes, you may have accepted your flabby tummy but that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t change it if you could avoid the after-surgery pain or out-of-pocket anguish!
I mean, let’s be realistic. As much as I love myself, I would change a few things if I could. Hell, yeah! I ain’t telling y’all what though! But, hey, I am my own supermodel! As a matter of fact, sometimes I do the Naomi Campbell walk from the living room to the kitchen - and back - while I’m balancing cooking and watching television. I ain’t gotta wear no Jimmy Choo for that! Oh, and when I’m walking down the steps at home, I occasionally descend them like Wendy Fitzwilliam on the night of the Miss Universe pageant! You’d swear ’model coach’ Alyson Brown’s eyes were piercing me.
We may want the fuller lips, slimmer legs, bigger boobs, smaller boobs, thicker calves, a phat-er booty, etc but can’t we work with what we’ve got and still be fierce? As a teenager, I NEVER wore my hair back because I thought people in Asia could see my forehead. Only when I was well into adulthood, I got comfortable with my hair styled away from my face. Sure, you can ’adjust’ what you have but it doesn’t have to be drastic or expensive. Changes can be effected in little ways; a weave or wig, padded bra, a pair of jeans with a certain cut or strategically-placed pockets to create a bigger-looking derriere and so on. Some of you may argue that when you take the jeans off, there isn’t anything there. Well, um, sorry, can’t help ya there!
Look, for instance, I am dark-shinned and although television and print ads seem to be inundated with a lot of light-skinned girls who may subliminally (with the help of ’the powers that be’ and society at large) be portrayed as the epitome of beauty, that isn’t going to produce a chip on my shoulder. I am what I am. Think about it, if I were Destra’s complexion, I wouldn’t be so cute, and if Alison Hinds was even Mo’nique’s complexion, she probably wouldn’t be as attractive. Do you understand what I’m getting at? We were made how we were supposed to be made - even if you have your paternal grandfather’s very wide nose and your maternal grandmother’s slim face. I don’t see your nose falling off your face due to lack of space, do you? Oh gorsh, jus’ like yuhself nah!
C’mon now, I said, work it!
nicolefarrell2509@yahoo.com
