Dear West Indies Cricket Board (WICB),
On behalf of all New Zealand cricket fans, I would like to express our deepest appreciation for your efforts in making possible our victory over the West Indies in the recently-concluded Test series.
You would never know how much our spirits were lifted when we learnt you were going to teach Sunil Narine a lesson by omitting him for the Test series because (and this is too funny) he chose to play in the high-pressure final of the Champions League, causing him to miss two days of the team camp.
Not having to play against Narine, we won the first Test easily. The West Indies fought hard to win the second Test but, without Narine, had great difficulty taking our last two wickets. Then we became worried when we heard Narine would be in the squad for the deciding third game in Barbados.
We could not help but remember he has been the biggest thorn in our sides over the last couple years and he took 6 for 91 the last time he played against us in a Test match. But our fears were unfounded when, once again, dear WICB, you came to our rescue by not picking Narine, a player at the top of his game, for the deciding Test. Instead, you chose Shane Shillingford, a bowler struggling with his action and confidence. This was a blessing for us, as Shillingford had match figures of 0 for 134 in 31 overs. This, of course, contributed greatly to our victory.
Your actions defied all logic and cricketing sense, but who am I to complain? You handed us victory on a platter. Thank you.
—A grateful New Zealand fan
Were I a supporter of New Zealand, I would have been moved to write the letter above.