Friday, January 19, 2018

What I am planning to pray for

A couple weeks short of four years in office, and after having engaged the skills of several “leading experts” in crime-fighting, after several ministers of national security, the best crime plan this regime can come up with is to ask that “we set aside a week to pray”.

Few of us may recall the current AG, along with several of his colleagues, four years ago, marketing their “100-day crime plan.” Yet after several “100 days” in office, along with a similar body count, the latest crime plan put forward has been reduced to asking us to say a prayer.

That such request has been made and supported by a collective cabinet decision reflects their “out of touchness’’ within the environment in which they operate.

It is quite apparent that the planners are unaware that most citizens of this land already pray; they pray when they awake in the morning to make it through the day and pray again before heading off to bed—simply praying to make it through the night—as many have been killed while in their beds.

Many pray on their way to their respective workplaces and some even while at work. This does not even include our Muslim brothers and sisters who already pray at least five times a day.

Not only did the powers that be ask that we pray, but the proponents of this plan designated specific days for specific prayers. For example, we were advised what to pray for on Monday: the family, the “bedrock of the society.” Tuesday has been reserved for the environment, while Wednesday was dedicated to the youth. Thursday for the nation’s leaders, and Friday has been for set aside for “spiritual renewal.” Saturday being the final day, is reserved for “harmony in diversity”, whatever that is.

Isn’t harmony in diversity reflected in our Carnival, our sports, celebrating each other’s religious observances etc?

And being the hard-working and praying people we are, Sunday evidently has been reserved for rest, after a long, hard week of prayer. Perhaps Sunday should be made a holiday and we should be able to celebrate it on the Monday.

If one chooses to pray that is one’s right. However, this call brings into question the legitimacy of billion-dollar budgets over the past couple years and all the crime plans put forward.

The blimps cost a pretty penny and have been sorely missed as they provided the much-needed safety and comfort which we grew so accustomed to, as they hovered over the respective hotspots. And how can we ever forget the revival of the Flying Squad under the leadership of one “Doctor” Mervyn Cordner.

Why not encourage Benny Hinn to provide us with a crime plan; or Rev Pena, the spiritual adviser to a former PM?

As an agnostic, recognising the power of prayer, I have decided to adopt this panacea as part of my lifestyle. I also promise to set aside a specific schedule. So on Monday I will begin by praying for an EMBA, and a pay-myself position on a state board, preferably that of a CEO.

On Tuesday I will pray for a personal jet or a helicopter, and will settle for nothing less than a Porsche Cayenne.

On Wednesday I will pray for a government house, state lands and a lucrative state contract, preferably to extend a highway, or build a Tsunami shelter.

On Thursday I will pray that when the floods come with the rainy season, they don’t destroy farmers’ crops or flood out neighbourhoods built in flood-prone areas. I will also chip in a prayer for “water for all’’ on this day.

On Friday, I will pray to catch a big fish swimming upstream in a box-drain, on the hills. I also will pray that traffic problems cease to exist and that my favourite watering hole has enough alcohol for all.

On Saturday I will pray that all days are made holidays. I also pray that citizens have enough tyres to burn and enough debris to block roads as they protest over environmental conditions.

And on Sunday, instead of taking a day off as has been recommended, I will pray for 2015 at which time we shall breathe a sigh of relief—if only for a few hours, as we catch our breath to pray again for 2020…

If the Government is really serious about this plan, then citizens be given time off to pray!

Rudy Chato Paul