One day in 2010, I walked into my paternal grandmother's house and discovered that a picture of my one of my father's outside childen on her graduation day was placed in front of mine (my graduation picture) on a stand somewhere in the corner of my grandmother's house. I believe it was the day of some family gathering. I had just returned from the United States. I flew into a rage, and my father, the adulterer, did not side with me (at least he did not side with me enough). Even my paternal grandmother, thought that I was out of place for throwing my temper tantrum.
The one person in the family (on my father's side), the one person in the family and who was present that day, who ought to have done more, who ought to have said more, my uncle the pastor (talk about honky-tonk Christian), did not. I have since given up fighting with these idiots. But I have remained staunch in my heart that the picture of my father's outside child should not have been in front of mine (his first and legitimate born daughter within the confines of marriage), and staunch in my heart that it should have never been in my paternal grand-mother's house. My father had three children as a result of extramarital affairs – I thank God each day that he did not bring home some STD for my mother, and no, they do not all have the same mothers). My view is that they should never have been embraced by my father's family; they should have never been embraced, period.
I couldn't resist; so sometime last year, I approached my pastor and asked him about this theory of mine, that children born as a result of extramarital affairs ought to be "put away (yes, I spent about two years pining over this because I insist that my younger sister and I should not have been treated as second class citizens; I insist!)." I referenced the story of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 21:9-14. I told him what my interpretation of that verse was: that in the same way that Sarah told Abraham to send away Hagar and Ishmael and that God backed Sarah up so that Abraham had to send them away, and God considered Isaac the child of the covenant, and made sure that he got the inheritance promised to Abraham, should not my father and others like him do the same? Get this! His response was yes. Well my heart had never leaped with joy more than it had leaped that day. I had always suspected that I was right, but now I had confirmation of my rightness and the Lord, God himself, was on my side and in agreement.
My pastor went on to say that while the world would see such an action as cold and heartless, God had a different view of things. He noted that while Abraham gave Hagar and Ishmael some supplies and sent them off, and while God told Abraham that he would give Ishmael his own inheritance, Abraham, in the end, had to send off Hagar and Ishmael. Isaac was the child of the covenant. You see, although Abraham had made his mistake (even though goaded by Sarah), he did not have to continue in his mistake. And he did not.
But in this present world people think that outside children and legitimate children can co-exist peacefully and try to foster such circumstances, creating only more havoc and resentment as they go. I would know, my father is one such adulterous father. I know, too, of some men who think themselves "men, men" because they are able to take care of both their legitimate families and illegitimate ones. Mistresses (or "out-side women" as mistresses are called here) like to act as if they have rights (and they have none!). And half-children like to act (and I cannot really blame them for acting that way, for the present world, soaked as it is in its immorality has empowered them to do so because of its failure to call a spade a spade. They believe they are entitled to the status of legitimate children; my father's outside children believe this as well. They believe they have the same rights as children born within the confines of marriage.
I know that some are thinking that I am on some sort of tirade, but I have grown tired of this world and its political correctness. No one wants to call a spade a spade anymore. A fornicator is now called a sexually liberated individual; a single mother (particularly one who chooses to be so) is now called an empowered woman; "jammettes" and "jaggabats" are called musical entertainers and the list goes on! The fact remains that children born as the result of an extramarital affair "have no share in the inheritance" of those born within the confines of a marriage and lawful children should not be treated as the problems and second-class citizens. And a man's loyalty, after his affair, goes back to and lies to his children (and of course, his wife) who are a product of that marriage.
I just wish this world would get it right.
Author's note: What happens when a woman cheats and has a child as a result? I suppose that complicates things, and things might be done differently. But I do know, that where men are concerned, his lawful children must take precedence. God considers marriage a covenant, and prizes the children of that covenant. I should add, too, that because of the indiscretion of Abraham, leading to the birth of Ishmael, there is no peace in the Middle East.