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Are you dependent on men?

By Allan Wesley

No, I am not talking solely about financial dependence; included here are emotional dependence, spiritual, and physical dependence. Most men, once they can afford it will support you financially. Unfortunately, the hidden agenda behind that support is usually sexual in an overwhelming amount of cases. Women, who are very dependent on men, are often exploited by the very men who are helping or offering to help them. Some women would beg to differ with my view, they see this as a trade off, they get what they want and he gets what he wants.

By spiritual dependence, I am referring to an implicit dependency, whereby some women are of the opinion that once they get a man, everything would be better. They would start going to church or go more often. I know of women who do not enjoy going to church alone. Likewise, my reference to physical dependence has more to do with a woman having a handy-man around to fix and do things for her. Least any of my female readers believe that this paragraph and indeed my article paints women in that typical 'woman needs man' role you should be aware based upon my book, previous articles, and regular Facebook postings that I'm a huge proponent of female independence and I love and admire the millions of women who go it alone. In fact, one of my favourite Facebook postings states, "The women that get along best with men are the women who can live without them."

However, from personal experiences and through the experiences of others there are some women who still see men as the centre of their universe. Such are the women I refer to in this article and those of you who are currently too dependent on men without being aware. Emotional dependence is an area where a woman's vulnerability is frequently exploited. Women who often come across as needy, afraid of being alone, constantly needing or wanting a man to reaffirm his love, concern or interest in her are the elements some men pick upon quickly and use to their advantage or to your disadvantage. Men are creatures of opportunity particularly when it comes to women.

It's easy for a man to say the things he knows you want to hear based on how you have expressed yourself to him. Is it fair? No, but life is not. Obviously, if you are in a relationship there are times you want to be comforted, reassured etc…but constantly wanting and seeking those elements might not be in your best interest. Of course the other side of this is that with the right man you won't have to constantly seek reassurances.

If you are waiting around, dragging your feet on setting priorities or accomplishing goals in your life because you think a man will make it easier you are sadly mistaken. If you believe that your bills are best paid by a man, you need to think of being more independent. Yes, it is wonderful if the man in your life or the man you seek can help in so many ways but to wait on a man just for his help is foolhardy. If you want him for the wrong reasons, you are most likely to be exploited. Make yourself the person you depend on most in life.

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