One does not suddenly wake up wanting to end a relationship; well, literally, you can. However, the fact is that people normally have a reason(s) for wanting it to end. The end is usually brought about as a result of the final act in a series of prolonged or ongoing issues. Somewhere in between the start of your relationship and its end something happened. What was it? The answer varies; sometimes it is obvious, sometimes not so obvious. In this article I want to focus on the sometimes not so obvious…growing apart.

People grow apart for any number of reasons. The important thing, which is often missed, is to be cognisant of changes in your relationship and to constantly communicate with your partner. When you meet someone, you get to know more about them over a period of time as you both interact with each other. As always, you never rush into a relationship. Obviously, you cannot completely know someone prior to getting into a relationship with them. Getting to fully know someone is an ongoing process since different situations bring out a particular personality. You would not necessarily know someone is addicted to online gaming, gambling, prescription pain medications or something else that can affect your relationship. If living with someone, the stresses of raising a family are handled differently and the way we cope with life's challenges varies from person to person.

Earlier I mentioned that people grow apart for any number of reasons; people can become absorbed in work, studies, or other interests to the extent that they are not aware that they have changed or are changing. Sometimes we pause and we realise that we are not as happy as we used to be, we are no longer having fun and we cannot figure out the particular reason.

If you are no longer happy, or have noticed changes that affect your feelings toward your partner, you need to communicate and let him know. If he does something or has a habit that you do not approve, it is imperative, in the interest of the relationship, and your responsibility to share that with him. In essence, anything that affects you in your relationship should be communicated to your partner. In many instances, he may not even be aware of the effect it is having on you. He is not a mind reader. The supposedly small thing that you ignored because you did not want to bother him with/about can snowball into that final straw. When we fail to fully communicate about something that makes us unhappy or uncomfortable we leave room for resentment and dislike to grow.

Remember, people do not suddenly grow apart; there are clues and signs, however subtle. The issue occurs when the clues and signs are not addressed and go unchecked as in our failure to communicate. Sadly, sometimes people do grow apart, they outgrow each other and realise that their interests are no longer the same and the level of compatibility that once existed is no longer there. Still, these realisations can best be achieved through the constant communication of all your feelings and concerns to your partner so that they can be properly addressed before it is too late.