Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Can a man be in love with two women?


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If we were to rephrase the question by removing the words 'in love' then the answer is definitely yes and at that point we can also replace 'two' with higher numbers like, three, four, five etc… and the answer would still be yes. Most people should know that being with a person and being in love with them is not the same. People are in relationships for different reasons. Good sex, good companionship, convenience, money, and friends with benefits are some reasons people might give for being in a relationship with someone else. Clearly, it is not always about love.

When we think of love, being in love with someone or someone being in love with us it becomes an issue of depth; quality, and quantity of time spent with that person is important. Concern, caring, appreciation, kindness, support, trust, and honesty are all factors with significant meanings to both individuals who are in love. If we were to view love in the context of the above statements then it is rather difficult to imagine a man truly being in love with two women at the same time. Is he able to spend good quality and enough time with both? Saying I love you to someone should only be uttered when we feel it and we mean it and we can show it via our actions.

If a man is in love with two women the honesty and trust aspects of love do not go away, therefore, if he says I love you to one woman, he should also let her know that even as he professes his love for her, he is equally in love with another woman. I have heard the argument that a man can be in love with two women because all his needs and wants are satisfied by both i.e. what is lacking in one is found in the other. If everyone took that approach then we would all have two or more lovers, since the argument implies one should not compromise but rather selfishly get your needs and wants satisfied. I guess it will not be considered selfish if the other woman knew and approved.

Can a man feel strongly for or about two women? Sure, I believe a man can; however, 'penis love' and love from the heart are two different types of love. Are men who profess to be in love with two women confused? If a man claims to be in love with two women, he can and should analyze his reasons for being with them. I am almost certain he would realise he prefers one over the other. I am also not sure, hypothetically speaking, if he is willing to die for both given an option to choose.

In the end, it really depends on the man and his feelings. If a man believes he is in love with two women, he should be honest and share his feelings with both women (not at the same time). They should know about each other, so that they can each decide if they want to be with a man who is also in love with another woman. If a man tells you he is in love with you and another woman, what would you do?

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