As the car cruised along, the radio played softly, providing a soothing contrast to the raucous laughter and animated chatter that was taking place.
When the announcer returned on-air inviting phone calls, a woman's almost inaudible voice came over the airwaves.
As she spoke, the volume of chatter in the car soon minimised and eventually, there was total silence.
The woman, maybe in her 40s or 50s, recounted that she had left home after seven o'clock that morning to run errands and then head to work. She left her husband at home, alone, supposedly dressing for work. However, about two hours laterr, she returned home for a forgotten item that she needed urgently that day.
Sounding close to tears, she described how she met her husband's best friend in the living room and wondered what on earth he was doing there at that hour of the morning. Her husband hadn't said anything about him passing for anything.
According to her, she asked for her husband and learned that he was in the bathroom. As she passed the bedroom, she noticed that the sheets were disturbed…even though she had tidied the bed before! She then heard her husband showering…although he had showered before she had left home! He was supposed to be at work by then so why was he still at home and for goodness sake, why was his best friend there?!
No one in the car or studio said a word. The woman continued, I think mentally begging someone to tell her that her suspicions were wrong. We all thought it though—her husband was involved in a gay affair. I was unable to listen to the rest of the call but my mind reeled.
This actually happened over three years ago. This topic may be a bit uncomfortable for some but it is a subject that is relevant in 2012. This is not about one simply being gay or straight. This is about married men or men involved in relationships with women, who claim to be heterosexual but who are indeed on the down low—living a double life, sexually.
American bestselling author, JL King admitted to being married to his high school sweetheart for many years while he engaged in sexual encounters with males, sometimes in his home while his wife slept upstairs! He has now come to terms with the fact that he is indeed gay.
Experts offer some signs of a man who is said to be on the" the down low':
Does your man actually describe other men as 'sexy'?
Does your man only have close female friends?
Does your man comment on your sense of fashion or other women's sense of fashion in a specific way? For instance, does he even suggest what you/she should have worn with that teal skirt? Did he even say 'teal'?
Does he gush over male public personalities, especially those in music/entertainment or sports? Is there any one male celebrity that he gushes about all of the time, so much so that it gets annoying?
Does he make eye contact with other men for too long of a period? Does he focus on any one guy for no apparent reason?
Even with women around, does your man comment on how 'nice' another man's chest is? Or does he comment on a man's muscles or thighs…or butt…and you're not even at a bodybuilding event?
Look at his online activities if you can. Does he watch male gay pornography and make excuses for why he does it? He probably says that he 'heard' that gay men have different 'moves' so he just wanted to learn some 'new tricks' for when you are together.
Now when men watch pornographic material, they usually compare the size of their member to the subject in the magazine/film. However, does your man ask you (with excitement) to look at another man's member and say something like, "Wow! Look how big that is! Look at it! Isn't it big?" and goes on and on… Is he smiling, do his eyes light up?
Some signs have also been provided by LaJoyce Brookshire, who penned a book after her dev-astating 'discovery'. She was married for 15 years and only after her husband died, she learned that he was not only having gay affairs, he also had AIDS. Not knowing this, she had unprotected sex with him! Some have said that her story teaches "why it's important to love with open eyes along with an open heart".
Brookshire shared the following, urging women to heed:
The man goes away for long periods of time with the same man/men.
Men who habitually go away with other men may be doing more than just fishing. Brookshire said her husband would go away for overnight/weekend trips with two different men on a regular basis. She didn't think anything of it at the time but eventually realised that most men in heterosexual relationships rarely have the need to take overnight trips with other men unless it's due to business.
He is extremely homophobic
Men who openly show hatred towards gay men usually have something to hide. It's a sure indication that their own sexuality is under question. It could also be due to a fear of being 'outed'. Brookshire felt this was the main reason that her husband would never allow any of her gay male friends to visit their home. They would have identified him as 'one of them' and his secret would have been blown!
He is the perfect Prince Charming
A perfect man may over-compensate to conceal a deadly secret. She discerned that many 'down low' men, including her husband, quickly sweep a woman off her feet. They romance her a lot and marry quickly in order to hide their true identity.
Of course, it is not being suggested that any one thing in the aforementioned means your man should be 'labelled' but if many of the above ring true for your man… I'm sure some of you are now bent on finding out if your straight man is indeed straight!