Today, smart phones and their applications have become essential to our lives; Facebook, Skype, FaceTime, and all similar technologies have helped to redefine and change the dating and relationship experience. In today's world the term "having sex" can have some context associated with it. If someone tells you they are having sex, you automatically assume it is happening the old fashion way — physical. If they mention that they engage in Cybersex, depending on how "in the know" you are, you may not bat an eyelid or you might freak out once they have explained Cybersex to you.
You have long been told that sex on the first date is not a wise decision. Indeed it is not and I have strongly advised women to refrain from allowing this to happen. However, I stated this in the context of going on a first date with someone you just met. If you are on a blind date and sex happens, then under such circumstances it is also not a good thing.
If you are looking for a serious relationship, sex on the first date is certainly not what you want. The main issue — and there are several — with sex on the first date is the message it sends or the impression it creates in the man's mind, which is now less than favourable, of you. For some serious-minded men it becomes a question of whether this is your modus operandi. Additionally, it can make you come off as easy, too easy, no challenge, so he moves on. Obviously, there are exceptions to every rule but sex on the first date says a lot more about you than you know.
If you are out with him having drinks or a good time, it is a moment, a snapshot of who he is in that situation. You can have great conversations and he can make you laugh your pants off (no pun) but that is still not the complete picture of him. We all put our best foot forward when meeting someone for the first time. If you slept with him, most likely you slept with your notion of who or what you would like him to be and your decision was based on a couple of hours with him. Of course it's possible you slept with him because you had too much to drink and you wake up with self-resentment and feelings of regret. Even so, there's a question of your self-control or lack thereof.
Let us consider a different circumstance or circumstances under which sex on the first date occurred. Enter our world of technology that I mentioned at the beginning of this article. If you have been chatting and communicating with this person for months, having Cybersex and/or phone sex, exchanged nude/semi-nude photos, then sex on the first date is not viewed in the same context. It is not as stigmatised as if you were on a "I just met you" date. Many relationships develop online before the individuals have met face to face. Match.com, the giant online dating service, claims that one in every five relationships now begins online.
Hence, if you are in an online relationship, finally meeting (face to face) the person and having sex, even on the first date, is seen as a continuation of your relationship. You are taking the relationship from the natural progression of virtual to real from Cybersex to physical sex. In this context it should not be viewed the same as sleeping with someone you barely know or don't know at all on a first date.