Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Things your husband's friends won't tell you

See what your spouse's buds think about how you treat them—and your man


(BI) Feedloader User

Ever wonder what your husband's friends really think of you—and your marriage?

"We wish you'd spend more time with us."

The good news from this obvious compliment is that they like you. The bad news? They think you don't want to see them. "It's cool that they want to get to know you; they value your husband enough to want to spend more time with the whole family," says Hanks. So take the hint. You don't have to go to every football game, but consider inviting them and their significant others out for dinner. Or when they call, at least talk to them for a minute ("How's work? What's new at home?") before handing the phone to your hubby.

You are a beautiful 40-year-old; why are you dressing like you're 21?"

Jake* is uncomfortable when he sees his good friend's wife dressing like her teenage daughter. "It makes me wonder if she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore." Your man's friends may, like Jake, guess at what's behind the Forever 21 look––others might simply feel uncomfortable around you. If you dress the way you do purely because you love it, don't worry about what anyone else thinks. That said, be careful you're not trying to be someone you aren't or solicit extra attention. And if it's true that your husband and his friends think you're beautiful when you dress and act your age, well, that's one good reason to shop where grown women do.

"You flirt with us."

True, some women are friendlier than others. But if you're trying to get your husband's attention––by sparking jealousy, say––his inner circle may notice. "Try to see how people around you perceive your behaviour," suggests Dr Lombardo. Is everyone having a good time and joking back and forth? That's fine. But if you suspect you're making someone uncomfortable, rein it in. And if you'd like more attention from your husband, "flirt with him!" says Hanks.

*Names have been changed.