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Women's paranoia with their men

By By Nicole S Farrell

The nerve of women sometimes. Sigh… Sometimes I cannot understand my own species.

Earlier this week, a friend called me all hyped up because of a particular occurrence. She had gone to meet with a client at his office as per usual. All of their meetings were held at his office and they were visible to several people.

My friend is attractive and impeccably attired. She is very conservative when conducting business with men to avoid conveying a blurred line, if you know what I mean.

She never 'hung out' with him long after the deals were made, he never flirted with her or vice versa. After a few meetings, he asked her to communicate with his wife who also worked at the establishment. My friend was stunned by the tone of the wife's emails and wasn't sure how to discern it. On more than one occasion, the wife stressed in the emails that she was his wife. When she spoke to the wife on the phone, she (the wife) was cold and barely accommodating. Again, my friend was taken aback, especially since she was making an effort to be friendly enough with her.

At her most recent meeting, the wife made a point of coming into his office area, interrupting them for the smallest of things. Then she went up to him and passed her fingers over his mouth. Relating the story, my friend said, "Nicole, nothing was on de man mouth but she's wiping his mouth! What she was wiping? No, serious, tell me nah."

I was screaming with laughter and I jokingly offered, "Why didn't she just pee around him already?! Clearly, she wanted to mark her territory!" I found this woman's actions to be so unnecessary. Why did she think that my friend was some sort of threat to her? My friend didn't even find the man to be attractive!

Based on an exchange my friend witnessed, we suspect that they indeed have marital problems, or she could be simply paranoid. We unashamedly and willingly spent time wondering whether he had been unfaithful within the marriage.

He had actually mentioned his circle of male friends once — a group of married men from a list of Trinidad's who's who, known to be womanisers. At best, that'd be circumstantial evidence. It could be a case of birds of a feather. The thing is, even if he was guilty of this, he never crossed the line with my friend, in private or boldly in front of his wife. He paid her a compliment once, something about her accessories — and he referenced his mother, saying that she would like an unusual piece such as the one my friend was wearing. That's it.

Why do women 'attack' other women? Why not direct their anger or suspicions towards the men? Do they really think that every woman wants their husbands/boyfriends? Even if he was unfaithful 7,117 times, does that mean that every female is a threat to your relationship? Oh, stop it. If he's so chronic, you have a choice, pack up or shut up, I think. Worse yet, don't direct your improper behaviour towards business associates; in this case, you can hurt your business.

There's one thing I like most men for and it may sound weird. If a man feels threatened by another man, he'll go straight to the woman. He's not going to give the other man any 'cut-eye' or throw words when the man is passing or call the man's phone and hang up when he answers or get a friend to call him and warn him to stay away from his woman. A man will tell his woman, "Hey, I know what he's up to and I hope you know what you're about." If a woman cannot pick sense from nonsense with that…

By the wife's behaviour, she's clearly insecure and if my friend was 'wicked', she could've played on her insecurities and drive her insane! Why act up? Tackle the man. You don't have to be abrasive, just direct and firm. You know what they say, if a man's innocent, accuse him enough and he will do it."

All I'm saying is find a way to be secure with a man if you think he's worth it. Not because your boyfriend from 1985 cheated on you, this sixth boyfriend of yours will do the same. Not because all of your cousins had cheating men, you have one. Not because he cheated twice before, he is definitely doing it again. I know, once a cheater but I have known some men who changed their ways. I would be the first to say that no-one should put their head on a block for anyone but in a relationship, there should be healthy trust. If your partner consistently disappoints you, make a decision. That's it.

I am not bashing women but I just think we can be a bit insufferable at times. Please, not every woman out there is seeking his pizzle to make your relationship fizzle!

nfpeters3434@gmail.com

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