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Your Say on the article 'Mummy I am a lesbian'

By This controversial piece was written by Jovan Tobas and published on January 20. It caused a buzz and received varying responses from readers.

DIOGENES_van_SINOPE

Rokerry - you really get me laughing. Anyway I was young then and seeing it for the first time, my sibling said don't look and I said why, we were in Swiss. Also the biggest parade ever in London in 82 I believe, was an eye opener and scary for me, never knew it existed until I saw that up close, yes young and innocent.

neithernor

I'm happy you realise that your prejudice is irrational.

WGanness

Nowhere in this article the true source of the problem (head on as you put it) is dealt with. (1) It is not abnormal to be gay, it is a variation of human sexuality that does not impair someone or make them any less. (2) The fault for this distress lies with the parent and society as a whole for being sexual bigots and having laws and systems that discriminate against people for their sexuality. Nowhere did this article say that the parent should get counseling/educated so that they can become a better parent. The entire second to last paragraph is dismissive of the parental responsibility - Why should you have negative feelings.

The entire tone of this article appears inappropriate as it makes it look like the child has done something wrong and is appealing for communication by the parties, and appeals to the parent to have forgiveness. Talk to a pastor - ARE YOU MAD!!! It is these idiots that are responsible for this attitude in our society to start with !!

tamjann

Firstly this article is deliberately not about the source of the problem, which has been covered countless times.

The reality is that parents do have negative attitudes. It's trite knowledge that people will either love or hate and agree or disagree with aspects of people, religions, practices, laws etc... that is natural.Thus the question is NOT "why should they have negative attitudes?" Rather the question is "how do we reconcile' homophobic attitudes (which are inherently hard to change) with maintaining familial ties and respecting our siblings, children, aunts, uncles etc for who they are regardless of whether we fully understand or agree with aspects of them?"

The abnormal/normal and democracy vs theocracy arguments have been thrown back and forth ad infinitum and ultimately we are left at the starting point which is that it is a moot point. We will never know what is the right answer. Therefore, we go beyond what we don't know to what you do know — there are gay people, they are human, some persons will not understand it or agree with, that society has certain overarching principles by which it is governed and that they should apply equally to all according to the rule of law, violence and persecution are not acceptable regardless of one's race, creed, age, sex, religion etc because there is no rational justification for it and the same should apply to sexual orientation.

Therefore, the article aims to address a ramification of homophobic attitudes by teaching tolerance and respect regardless of one's opinion on homosexuality. It therefore attempts to appeal to parents, who themselves harbour the homophobic sentiments that are normative in T&T, by sharing how they successfully put aside their own views for the good of family and ultimately society.

benacia· 1

Why do homosexuals and their defenders always go the route of bigotry?

They claim to be fighting just like those who fought against racism, this is an insult to say the least.

Your race is a sacred, and no one has the right to violate it. I am sure you would agree?

Sex is also sacred, it is a sacred gift from God and you do not violate it.

Why do you hold one as sacred and with the other you choose to violate it, then claim bigotry.

We will continue to stand against the practice and promotion of homosexuality as it clearly is a violation of the sacredness of sex?

As a Bible believing Christian I know, that it is Jesus who offers us all freedom from homosexuality, adultery, bestiality, pornography, fornication, other sexual violations and sin in general.

Homosexuality must not stop us from loving helping and praying for our neighbours.

familieshealing

The comments demonstrate the very challenges families face when someone comes out. People don't listen very well. And the focus is on what is seen as the "true" problem: whether it's "normal", whether it's "wrong", whose "fault" it is -- and not the struggles and feelings and confusion parents and other family members go through, along with the LGBT person coming out.

The article, the resources family members will find if they call or e-mail, and the radio broadcasts aim to meet family members like Carla and Fay's mother where they are. Not every family member ends up believing homosexuality is right; but many who don't can still heal their relationships with their LGBT family members, better protect them from harm, and understand their journey better. Future articles will likely run as well addressing parents' concerns about causes of homosexuality and offering insights. Not everything could happen in one piece, and hopefully the comments will help.

Most parents of faith seek pastoral support when someone comes out. Pastoral support can be a powerful part of the solution (not always a problem), and helping them access support that is helpful to their struggles with faith is important. Parents are also urged that professional support, including counselling and education, is available.

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